"Abuse can be psychological, more insidious. It acts in the silence of the night destroying time after time your inside, your being, torturing it to kill it ... I don't want to offend anyone but this is my story. I always had to fight with my own strength without artifice. My body is a bruised body , mutilated. I carry this difference that sticks to my skin. I have accepted so much, I felt so guilty for the roads I have taken that I forgot the way that people have still contributed. To resist and defend myself, I have created a parallel world. I projected myself on the edge of the world as the painting of the white Iris by Van Gogh. I invite you in the meandering of my inside world: Katy's world. Have a safe trip, maybe we'll meet down the road ? Who knows ?..."
A few words from the author
"Telling my life to tell my life would have no meaning or interest. What I wanted to express in this book is my vision of the world but such a vision does not build by accident. There is a beginning, a step by step journey that has made me The way I am, what I am.
Of course, I have chosen this path and I have no regrets, because I had this incredible opportunity to meet exceptional and extraordinary beings ... That way, I don’t forget what I am and who I am…
This book doesn't describe two parallel worlds, but a world, mine ! It is by and through my difference that I'm so why should I free myself from it ? No, instead I give it to the world! This is where the metamorphosis, accepting ourselves as we are and dare to say it…
This book is not about abuse but about the violence of life that assaults us each and every day, this difficulty of living. I explain how I defended myself, how I built myself up and everything that led me to this vision of the world…"
In the beginning, is the difference
that I bear in my flesh, in my body.
The Thing wanders, my Light insures in silence.
This difference propels me gradually on the edge of the world.
The Beast emerged from my inside, an unclean beast, vengeful...
The gap between the world and me widens gradually...
At the dawn of adolescence,
The Break leads me away.
My being dives into the meandering of my deep night.
I build myself in a masochistic way beating me to the extreme.
My inside world grows rich, building itself up.
It allows me to survive.
It is filled of words, images, sounds, knowledge.
The Beast keeps quiet...
I resist but the vessel drifts in this Sea of Wandering.
The ache spreads slowly trying to destroy me always and again.
Some beings surround me, however, pointing the way to my deliverance...
The Metamorphosis, rebirth of being
will she at the end of this path ?
Such is the destiny and
the Way of a White Iris.
The silence breaks the time of a slam wing,
then the words arise in a ultimate yell
revealing his profound intimacy…
Published in October 2006
New version by Editions HOPE on March 2010